The Bell Jar Reflection #7

Chapter 8 (pgs. 71-80)

During this chapter, Esther has a flashback to a time when Buddy Willard’s father took her to the Adirondacks to visit Buddy, since he was staying there while he had TB.  She states that it was the day after Christmas, which I find quite ironic since I am writing this journal entry the day after Christmas.  Esther says “At Christmas, I almost wish I was a Catholic” (pg. 70) which shows us that she is an atheist and does not practice a religion.  I believe that religion is a very important part of life and is necessary to keep a person on the right path; maybe that is why Esther is having some mental issues. 

 Esther is very close with Buddy Willard and his family.  She is very reluctant to go, however, since she thinks Buddy Willard is a hypocrite.   On the very awkward drive to get there, Buddy’s father tells Esther that she was the daughter he never had.  She wishes she could hitch hike there rather than be in that awkward situation.  They finally get there and go to visit Buddy in his room; Buddy’s father leaves them alone quickly.  Esther notices that Buddy has become very chunky, which she did not expect with his sickness.  They talk and Buddy asks Esther how she would feel about being Mrs. Willard one day.  She is shocked and tells him that she never plans to be married.  She tells him that she is neurotic and could never settle down in one place with one person.  I made the word neurotic stand out because it is a big step for Esther to finally admit her mental issues. 

 Esther stays with Buddy and the next day they go skiing.  Buddy is very patient with Esther and slowly teaches her the basics of skiing.  Esther hates it at first, but when she finally gets the hang of it and glides down the hill, she loves it.  She states “This is what it is to be happy.” (pg. 79) I really like this quote because I like how Esther finally finds something in life that makes her feel free, happy, and like life is good.  She gets to the bottom of the hill and quickly exclaims to Buddy that she is going again but he stops her.  He tells her that she has broken her ankle in three different places and will be in a cast for months.  I did not like this part because it shows that poor Esther’s life keeps letting her down and she keeps seeing that nothing she loves lasts for her.