The Bell Jar Reflection #15

Chapter 20 (pgs. 193-200)

Everything is finally starting to fall into place for Esther.  She states that “In a week if I passed my interview with the board of directors, I would be dropped off at the iron gates of my college.” (pg.193)  I am very proud of Esther for going through everything she has and for getting that far.  Her mother has forgiven her and she tells Esther “We’ll act as if it were a bad dream.”  Esther states that everything is a bad dream when you live under a bell jar. 

Buddy Willard finally comes to visit her.  They get along greatly and she feels a strange connection between them.  She finally has forgiven him for being a hypocrite.  She helps him dig his car out of the snow.  Buddy asks Esther if she thinks there is something about him that drives women crazy, being as her and Joan both ended up in the asylum.  I found this kind of humorous.  Dr. Nolan walks in and assures him that it was just a coincidence and not his fault.  She also tells Esther that Joan’s death had nothing to do with her.  Esther is invited to attend Joan’s funeral.  It was a nice service and it helped her find peace.  She also calls Irwin to ask him for a check to pay the hospital for her injury the night they had sex.  He asks when she will see him again and she confidently replies “Never!”  It is almost time for Esther to be released; she just has to attend one final meeting with all of the doctors.  She got dressed in her nicest clothes and with Dr. Nolan by her side she was finally ready. 

The last sentence of the book says “I walked into the room.” (pg.200)  It was definitely a cliff hanger and I was a little disappointed with the ending; I wanted to see what would happen next.  I was very glad it was a happy ending though; during the middle of the book I predicted the book would end with Esther killing herself.  I really enjoyed The Bell jar.  It was different from what I am used to reading, but I liked the style and I’m glad that I chose to read it.