The Bell Jar Reflection #13

Chapter 17 (pgs. 167-176)

At the beginning of this chapter, a nurse tells Esther that she is progressing and that soon they will move her into Belsize.  Belsize is the place that patients go when they are about to be released.  Esther does not want to move to Belsize, although she talks about being relieved that they do not do shock treatments there. 

A few days later, they move her and all of her stuff into a room at Belsize.  She sees Joan there and many other women who have walking privileges, shopping privileges, and can basically do whatever they want.  She claims that the women are well dressed and they seem stuck up, being as they spend most of their time gossiping about each other.   I feel bad for Esther because she feels like the new kid on the block and that feeling is never easy.  I experienced that myself in fourth grade when I moved to Elizabeth City and I did not know anyone.  One day, Joan is reading a magazine and she finds a picture of Esther in it.  She asks Esther in front of all the other girls if it is her and Esther denies it; she even feels embarrassed. 

The next morning when the nurse comes in, she does not bring a breakfast tray and Esther knows that is bad news because if you don’t get breakfast, that means you are scheduled to have a shock treatment done.  She thinks there has been some mistake, but she finds out that it was no mistake.  She starts freaking out and runs and cries in the corner.  Dr. Nolan comes and comforts her, telling her that she promises to be with her throughout the entire treatment.  Esther is furious at her though because she had promised she would warn her if she had to get any shock treatments done.  The time comes and Esther walks into the electrotherapy room terrified.  Dr. Nolan is with her the whole time though and she decides to get it over with.  As soon as she gets shocked, she falls into a deep sleep and she did not feel a thing like Dr. Nolan had promised.
http://www.electroboy.com/electroshocktherapy.htm